COLLABORATION WITH YOMMY AYILARA💜-HOW DOES GENDER DISCRIMINATION AFFECT THE MENTAL HEALTH OF WOMEN?

 

Hi guys😍! How are y’all doing? It’s been a while, huh? Did you miss me? No? Well I missed you either ways.

I’ve had this on my mind for a while now but been so busy to put it through. At least that’s what I tell myself. Lol.

I’ve always wanted to collaborate with other writers so ticking that off the list. Lol. Again.

I’ve never really been that deep into feminism, mostly because of extent to which women take it too. You know, they disrespect men in the name of feminism and it shouldn’t be so. Coz it’s just like you’re doing to men exactly what you’re fighting against. Belief is different from disrespect. I’d like us to work on that please. If a man doesn’t disrespect you, you have no right to disrespect them either.

But right now, I’m fighting for people who can’t speak or who have given up.

This write-up is mostly about gender discrimination and what it does to mental health. This topic has been driving me crazy and I needed a push to put it out. And just then Simi brought out ‘Woman’. Likeeee. The vibes are so crazy.

I HATE THIS SAYING SO MUCH: DONT TALK, YOU’RE JUST A WOMAN.

So I put this together and decided to collaborate with a fellow writer and feminist.

Drumrolls! YOMMY AYILARA.

LMAO!!!!

Read her blog posts more than once; each one.

yommyayilarasblog.com

I love em and her words; so beautiful.

I had lots of fun writing this so I hope you have fun reading too. Thanks loves!

 

HOW DOES GENDER DISCRIMINATION AFFECT THE MENTAL HEALTH OF WOMEN?

If you’re a girl/woman, you’ve probably heard so many stereotypes. And even if you haven’t, you’re still bound to hear some. But we want to change that. The stupid stereotypes that have been formed by the society (men and even some women). It’s annoying really that we’ve had to succumb or conform to the society’s view of us as merely second members. But we don’t have to anymore. Coz we’re not just women, we’re sisters, daughters, mothers and advocates for a better world. All we have to do is stand up for what we are and what we want to be.

Have you ever heard of the saying ‘the future is female”.

Well we can make that true.

Like the pep talk? Heard I’m good at that.

Looking into what gender discrimination does to mental health. Yeah. That’s my main objective. I’ve never actually been down because of a stereotype comment from anybody. Not because I’m immune but because I know who I am. I know my goals. I know who I want to be. It’s how I set my mind but unfortunately not everybody can actually be like this. Some people can’t deal with it and it affects them mentally.

Even in secondary schools nowadays, we have boys who see females are merely delegates in the world. As a support for the husband. I’m not saying women shouldn’t support their husbands but it shouldn’t be servant-master. Why can’t it just be partner-partner, friend-friend, and husband-wife? The society has found a way of shoving this mentality into our heads and it’s painful that we just accept it. You may say ‘we don’t have a choice’ but you actually do. You can stand up for what you believe in.

Another painful thing is sometimes, the discrimination even comes from fellow women, who probably feel bad about themselves and they use this as a ploy to feel better about themselves. You see this is one of the things it does to our mental health. It gets to a point where we feel so bad, we impose it on others. It makes us weak, vulnerable but it’s also a choice.

Because you can’t control what people say to you but you can control how they make you feel. You need to understand that no one can hurt you without your permission. You’re a woman and you should be proud. And you’re not just a woman. You’re an embodiment of God’s love for this world. So don’t let anyone talk you down.

I’m gonna list a few stereotypes I’ve heard below. You’ve probably heard these too.

-Women don’t get titles just like that, except if they have connections.

-Wow, she passed her exams; she must have slept with a lecturer.

- If you don’t show off your body, you will never make it as a musician.

- Men want women who keep their mouth shut and obey whatever they say.

-You want to be a lawyer; I hope you get a husband in the future.

-She has money, then there’s a man behind it.

-Menstrual pain is just exaggerated, I’m sure it’s not that painful.

-Won’t you get married? You’re losing your beauty.

-You have to grow up and marry a rich man. (Like Lol…… this one actually makes me so angry, I mean, why can’t you just advise me to grow up and make my own money (sighs and exhales in anger), lmao).

-Don’t be too aggressive or no man will marry you.

-Men don’t like ambitious women, reduce your confidence.

-When men talk, you keep quiet.

-As a woman, don’t comment on important matters.

-You have to apologize to your man, even if he’s wrong.

-Boys are better than girls (old school though)

-Behind every successful woman, there’s a man. (In case you didn’t know, well they say this too).

So much more that I can’t fit in here (at least that’s what I’m telling myself). But the stereotypes are out there and they’re increasing day by day. It hurts that a lot of women just hear these things and let them dig into their mental health.

As females, we have to learn that we may not be able to always control what people say about us, but we can control how they make us feel. We’re not just stuck to this belief that we’re mere baby carriers and wives but more. We have a purpose and we have to work towards achieving this. It’s the only way we can defy these stereotypes surrounding our existence.

Women have always been victims of fear, pain, abuse and even rape. They get scared not only because of the shame but because of what the society will think. There are many cases of raped women being insulted by fellow women. Being accused of dressing indecently or overreacting. It’s devastating; I mean who even does that?

There was also the case of a woman who was rebuffed by fellow women after she revealed that her husband raped her. Some said since her husband had paid her bride price, she couldn’t accuse him of rape. I got so angry because it felt so demeaning that fellow women would say such a thing.

Anytime I see these comments about feminism and its consequences, I’m just like, wow.

I’ve watched some movies where women get scared about feminism, yeah? They like show a woman who was a feminist but loses her marriage because she was too ‘strong’. I mean it’s crazy, annoying, demeaning. The only reason they do this is to discourage women though from standing up. They want us to keep our mouths shut so we don’t have any means of speaking up when they’re being treated badly. It’s evil, disgusting and nasty. No gender should be inferior to the other.

I don’t wanna say too much. I actually brought a guest to talk with y’all. I mean, it’s in the title so. Welcome, Yommy Ayilara, she’ll be talking to us as a feminist.

And I know you’ll be impressed.

Yommy Ayilara

   When we hear these comments, we automatically absorb them. I mean who does not absorb comments? A lot of women have ended their careers, dreams, ambitions and some, their lives because of something they grew up listening to. How do you water a plant with poison and expect it not to wither?

         “Mental health’ has been a topic we all have been talking about. Most people act like they care about it until it has to do with WOMEN. Women are told to shrink; when they shrink they are told they haven’t done enough. They are told they haven’t done enough.

They are told to raise their shoulders up but not to sigh so that they don’t make men uncomfortable. They are told to dream big but not too big so they don’t scare men away, yeah?

Comments here, comments there; what should women do exactly? How else can women act so they can please you, please society, and please humans? How else?

Gender inequality is a menace, the fact that someone is discriminated upon based on something she has no control over. How do you look at someone and hate her because of a mere difference in chromosome? We need to do better. We need to train our kids better. We need to act better. Women are not slaves. Women are not less human beings. Women are human beings that deserve just the same amount of respect as any other human being.

Your words, comments and backlash have great implications on the mental health of so many women. Degrading comments, restrictions, insults and so many things have made HUMAN BEINGS question themselves. Stop gender discrimination, stop the abuse, and stop hurting women! Bye!

Just stopped by for a bit, I’ll let Grace do her thing!

 

 

Who loved that little talk from Yommy? I know I did. And the way she used her words, ohh? I loved it.

And this blog post is not just about collaboration, it’s about the dangers of gender inequality. It’s about unity, justice and togetherness. Just like Yommy and I collaborated to make this beautiful write-up, I think this is how women should join hands together to fight against gender inequality.

 We shouldn’t be the ones worsening the situation. Stop these stupid stereotypes. Stop these comments you make, they’re not helping. It disturbs the mental health of women even if you see them as mere comments or silly talks. They’re mean and backlashing.

Let’s fight together and stop gender inequality!

I should probably say goodbye now but WAIT!

Before you leave, I still have some things to say. Some girls actually volunteered to be a part of this project and I use this as a medium to say thank you! I love you guys so much.

I’ll be putting their pictures below and their respective names.

JOY ELETTA

TOLUWANI ISAFIADE

ONI VICTORIA

 

OYIN AYILARA

 

IFEOLUWA AYILARA

ADENIRAN OLUWAFUNBI

YES, THIS IS ME! JUST AN ADDITIONAL!

 

Once again, I thank you all for participating in this project with me, I love you guys! Thank you for not choosing to keep shut. And I know, gradually, this fight will be won.

Another thank you goes to Yommy Ayilara, thank you so much boo for collaborating with me on this one. I really appreciate it. Oh, and keep up the good work, Girl!

This blog post is actually dedicated to every female out there, young, old, you deserve to have a say. #STOP GENDER DISCRIMINATION!

 

TO SUPPORT THIS FIGHT AND TO CREATE AWARENESS OF THIS TOPIC, SHARE THIS BLOGPOST TO AS MANY WOMEN YOU KNOW NEED IT.

You can contact me on;

Instagram-@grace_unusual.

Twitter-@gracethewriter

Tumblr- @gracethebosslady

Email - adeolagraceb@gmail.com.

You can also contact me for a gig on this blog.

Love you guys!

(Silently listening to WOMAN-Simi)

Na so so submission, shey we get assignment.

That’s actually my favorite line in the song. 

OKAY BYE FOR REAL NOW!😂