Grace Adebayo's Blog

Suffering from identity crisis was definitely not in my plans. But here I am. I met someone new. She asked 'Who are you?' I had no answer. I asked myself 'Who am I?' Still no answer.  I know something about myself at least. I know I'm suffering from identity crisis. I know I'm a writer. But if I'm not a writer, who am I? I mean, I'm actually getting known. I'm growing. I have the growth I've always desired. I'm actually known as a writer. I write beautiful things. I say beautiful things. And I'm beautiful on my own. But not knowing who I am? That's definitely not beautiful.  When will I know who I am? Will I ever know who I am?  I'm definitely stressed. I'm definitely tired of being told what to do, who  and who not to talk to, where and where not to go. I'm definitely angry that someone posted my poem and cropped my name out of it.  So I guess that's a win. Maybe I don't know who I am yet. Maybe I'...

Hi! Welcome back to my blog.💛 It's been a while. Has it? I don't know.  Anyway this is just a random topic actually. I was watching an episode of Grownish and I got the inspiration. Trust me I haven't had real inspiration to write on my blog for a while but I got it lately and I'm writing it now so I don't get lazy and toss it aside. Literally. So Love, Concession and Change. They're three different things actually and we often mix them up. The Advanced English Dictionary defines Love as a strong feeling of affection for sb that you are sexually attracted to:  Concession as something that you allow or do, or allow sb to have, in order to end an argument or to make a situation less difficult It also defines change as : to become different So these three really define our relationships with people.  They are not just the basis, they are the foundation. I get that when you love someone,you want to please them and make them happy. And sometimes that may...

    Does it feel right? Very often, I’m disappointed with how people treat me. I want people to be more compassionate to me. Maybe it’s because I would treat them the exact same way. I shower my friends with love and kindness and I feel really bad if I’m treated any less than how I would treat them. I go extra miles to make the ‘people I love’ happy and I’m heartbroken when I found out they wouldn’t do the same for me. But then I remind myself that sometimes, kindness is a personality trait and not everyone has it. I’m also reminded that not everyone can be like me. I often feel like I’m self-righteous when I tell people how I want to be treated. I expect to be treated with respect and kindness and whenever I’m treated differently, I speak up. Of course, this has left me with lesser friends but it only makes me know who my real friends actually are. I’ve had people tell me “try to tolerate people or you’ll just chase them away” I’ve also had people tell me “d...

Why so helplessly selfless? By Grace Adebayo.   Why so helplessly selfless? Why so helplessly devoted to someone who isn't to you? Why do you care so much? Always convincing yourself that you're fine just because of what you think society will say.   At times when I talk about mental health to my friends/acquaintances (I'd rather not call some people my friends) the few ignorant ones are always making foolish comments like "This one won't work in Nigeria", " I don't have time for stuff like these, I have exams, why would I be focusing on mental health? ".  I get discouraged. Yes. But does it stop me? No. Coz I know my goal here and I really don't care what anyone feels.  Sometimes we are scared to show emotion because we don't want to be called names or insulted. I hope you get to that point in your life where you don't care about these stuffs anymore.  I wanted this blog post to be about how often I wonder why I'm so devoted t...

  THE DESIRE TO FEEL. -Grace Adebayo.          For a while now, I’ve been feeling very unemotional. And not like in a heartless way so to say. I’ve been feeling numb not physically though. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally. A lot of stuffs have happened in these last few weeks. I expected myself to at least show some emotion but I couldn’t. It felt like……..nothing. Actually, I felt nothing.          I wanted to at least have a mood but I couldn’t. Then I came to conclusion. I’ve gone numb. It felt so surreal, so weird and bizarre. I wanted to deny it. Wanted to hide under a chair or something and say it wasn’t true but it actually was. I kept it in for months. Thinking maybe if I ignored it, it would go away. I even almost concluded it was maturity creeping in but it was much more than that.           Being the experimental person that I am, I’ve b...